A Reminder To The Future Soberer Me

I let my guard down, how stupid.

All of the sweet smiles and lies made me believe,

I felt like I belonged and that, some how, by some stroke of luck; 

I had finally gained a family.

I got comfortable and I thought all was good.

Oh God, how I was wrong...

All the walls that I thought was secure, shattered.

The masks of happiness dropped,

and I was left alone crying and hurt.

I knew who I was dealing with, 

but I hoped people could change.

All I can do now is see where I made my mistakes,

and harden myself again once I reach the end of this bottle.

I refuse to make the same mistakes again.

I let my guard down, I was stupid,

This moment in time

Hmmmmm.....

I have no clue what is on my mind right now, but something is on my mind.

Ever have one of those moments where you feel something but you can't put a label on it?

It's not a good feeling but it's not a horrible feeling either; it's just a out of bounds kinda of thing.

Like feeling lost and hopeless, but your not lost and you have hope for many things.
That moment when your awake late at night restless with nothing to do,
but at the same time thinking about everything that could have happened or what you'd want to happen; that's how this night is right now.
The streets and roads are empty at this time of night,
and I have this urge to just grab my iPod and just walk for miles listening to tunes.
Not thinking about anything, not going anywhere, just walking aimlessly until the sunrises.
But I know that I would be avoiding the problem and this restlessness would just come back.
But how can you fix a problem, when you don't know what it is or where to start?



 

RWAR!!!!

Just Venting I Guess

I frustrate myself sometimes.

I know that what I am doing is stupid and I shouldn't do it.

But what do I do?

I do exactly what I advise myself not to do.

Why?

Probably because I'm a crazy optimistic person; even though I don't want to be.

I do it because I hope that the outcome will be different.

But it never is, and that is how I start my own headaches.

Why can't life be simpler?

But if one of my wishes could be granted; just this one time.

I guess it would be let us at least become friends.

But I guess that won't be happening.

So I'll just live with this frustration.

RWAR!!!!

 Side Note*

Enough about me as usual, tell me your story (by sending a email) at tell.me.your.stories.here@gmail.com 

I really want to know your story, and if you want to be anonymous just send me a email using this http://send-email.org/

And you will be completely anonymous =^3. So please share a story with me.

What you have faced, been through, going through, feeling, and etc. It doesn't matter what you decided to share with me, I'll still be amazed and thankful you shared, so just relax and let me know =^)

Arrrrgghhh!!!

Why can't what you imagine come true??

I saw you sitting across the way minding your own business and ignored your good looks.

And than I see you again sitting across the way the next day.

Both times I met you were by coincidence, and I knew that, hence the reason ignored you agian.

But why did you have to mess it up?!!!!

If only you had mind your business like the last time, I would not be interested in you now.

If you didn't notice me and did not call out to me to ask a question.

I would not be here wondering who you are!!!!

And as much as I hate it, I can't wait to see you agian.

It would be simpler to just walk up to you and just say "Hey I think your incredibly handsome."

Then be done with you.

But no. 

Life does not work that way so now I'm sitting here with thoughts and questions about you!

God I just hope all of these thoughts will disappear tomorrow.

And I so hope we don't meet agian or have a conversation.

Because it will just be maddening. Just when I say I'm done for now, I turn ans see you.

Hopefully blogging about it releases these emotions.

RWAR!!!!

 Side Note*

Don't forget to tell me your story (by sending a email) at tell.me.your.stories.here@gmail.com 

I really want to know your story, and if you want to be anonymous just send me a email using this http://send-email.org/

And you will be completely anonymous =^3. So please share a story with me.

What you have faced, been through, going through, feeling, and etc. just relax and let me know =^)

Darn...Why you of all people?!

How could this happen?!

When I said I was done with all of those complicated relationships in my life,

WHY did you walk into my life!!?

We have been friends for a couple of years now, and I never felt anything towards you.

But that moment I made the mistake of inviting you to the movies

all my unknown feelings came rushing out for you, and all the idiotic things you do.

Now I can't get your face out of my head and your name out of my conversations!!!

And the harder I try to deny what I feel for you, the stronger I crush on you.

 You completely threw me off my own track and pulled me into yours...--_--

It's frustrating that there is still a person in the world who could still do that to me;

And out of billions of people, 

It just had to be you?! O_O

RWAR!!!!

 Side Note*

Don't forget to tell me your story (by sending a email) at tell.me.your.stories.here@gmail.com 

I really want to know your story, and if you want to be anonymous just send me a email using this http://send-email.org/

And you will be completely anonymous =^3. So please share a story with me.

What you have faced, been through, going through, feeling, and etc. just relax and let me know =^)   

Are you happy now? I'm gald if you are...

I must be a hypocrite. I provide advice to other people, but when it comes down to it my body doesn't follow it. I wonder why that is... I was careless when shown a mirage of false happiness, all precautions and walls that were set up; were weakened.
And once I was completely defenseless and foolishly happy; the betrayal hit me.
The pain was almost unbearable to handle, but it was the sadness and anger that kept me standing until a small piece of control was regained within. The stupidity that once held my mind was released
and I understood where I went wrong.
I'm sorry. I made the mistake, and the trust that I foolishly placed on you has been removed.
Do not worry, because I will not make the same mistake again.
In the end, I thank you, for imparting this new piece of wisdom on me.
It will never be forgotten.

Zero

Boredom has finally overwhelmed me into this post, can you believe it? But I guess I was going to have to make a post at some point in life huh, why not let it be at this moment. But any who I have been laying in bed for the last (hmm..) 40 minutes, trying to slip into my sweet release called my dreams. BUT guess what!! Sleep has been annoyingly evading me this whole time, so I was laying there and I suddenly thought I should make a post. Why? I have no idea, truthfully I just don't care either way. But a quick update on my life is my concision (no that's not right cousin {oh auto spell your so silly}) has come to our house for shelter; well she actually visiting. But I realized I have a timed patience bar for each individual person. What does that mean?! Well it means that when I'm in the prescience of another human being they have a time limit on staying on my non-annoyed side, to stay on that side they must gain more points/time by making me laugh, talking, etc.; but most importantly they must not annoy me. My cousin is failing greatly to stay on that side. OH YEAH I'm starting my school summer reading (which consists of 3 books), which really sucks because I've read at least 67 different books this whole summer and none of them were the books that my school assigned. But since I'm talking about books, the books that I'm currently planning on reading is Jules Verne Complete stories, Sherlock Holmes Complete stories, and the Myth of Sisyphus. That should be fun. No really it will be fun. I've also just noticed that when ever I make a post I feel compelled to make it incredibly long (it just gives me a satisfied feeling). But this looks really long some I'm going to stop right about now.

RWAR!!!!